The Girl With The Leaden Heart

Meeting a girl in the park who is working to release the lead in her heart.

I saw her again at the park today — the girl with the leaden heart. She was sitting at her usual spot under the tallest pine tree. Although, we had never spoken to each other, I felt as if I knew her well. It was a little over a year that both of us had been coming to this same park. The kind where I am sure every person must have their own unique reason for choosing why they are here, since the circuit was nothing special. The one way I can describe it to be is that it was actively unexciting. Every part of the track looked almost like every other part, and it is this feature of active unexcitement that had drawn me and retained me. I am a person who gets distracted very easily, especially in outdoor landscapes. For me to get some running done, I needed to focus, which was more possible in this park where there were no interesting plants or benches with a view. Simply put, there was nothing to do here but to run.

The girl would also come here, not to run but to sit under the tree and fiddle with some things she brought with herself. Our dynamic unfolded very slowly. It took three months for us to even exchange a smile. The good thing about us was that we let each other be, two universes co-existing but rarely touching. And today, after a whole year, of being at the same park, she called something out to me.

“Hey!”

‘Excuse me?’ I answered back, having seen her lips move but not registering her greeting due to the music in my ears.

“I said hey. I’ve seen you here.”

‘Oh, yeah. Hello.’

“Do you mind sitting here with me?”, she inquired.

I hesitated, but I was very intrigued about what this mysterious girl was going to say and so I agreed.

‘Yeah, sure.’

“I just wanted to share this with someone. I feel very light today. I think I am close to releasing all the lead in my heart.”

‘I’m sorry, did you say ‘lead’?’

“Yes, there was a lot of lead in my heart.”

‘So, how did you get rid of it?’

She looked up at the pine tree.

“I came here. I would come sit by myself and release all the events that had filled my heart with lead in the first place.”

‘Were they upsetting events?’, I asked.

“Yes.”

‘So, was it that you were grieving?’

“I wouldn’t call it grieving because in the beginning I was almost happy about the loss, but at that time I did not understand that even if the mind moves on and the world moves on, something that causes you pain cannot really be erased until you release it from your heart.

It is not a convenient process, but it was necessary.”

‘I think I can understand what you mean. Thanks for sharing it with me.’

And as she smiled and got up, I wondered if I would see the girl with the leaden heart again in our park.