Ame’s Family

Ame reminisces about the life he had before becoming a monk

When you ask Ame about his childhood, he would say- ‘It was everything that a child could possibly want.’ He grew up amongst gentle people and they did everything in their ability to raise a kind, intelligent, healthy man; even pushing their personal limits to provide for a better life for him. One of the reasons why he got a chance to come into his own was because they raised him up a bit distractedly. Not really wishing him to be any particular thing, just do good for himself and perhaps a little better than they did. But, as time passed and instead of wanting to engage more with the world, he expressed the wish to retreat from it and go deeper within himself is when the first tremors of discontent began. Ame wanted to walk on the path of monkhood. Now he can distinctly divide his life into two halves. The one before becoming a monk and the one after. It saddened those close to him greatly that he was considering monk hood. His parents looked upon it as a great tragedy. A real waste of their worldly efforts to bring up a good man. There was a great emphasis on getting him a good education. But, seeing how this good education didn’t make him the way they wished him to be, they now added a caveat to their previous understanding – a good education was good only if it brought a man worldly success. If a man gets too educated, there is a very real danger of him entirely losing interest in the enjoyment of worldly pleasures. Looking back at all these things, he laughs a little bit. How seriously we took all of it. How miserable we made ourselves.

He used to joke with his friends- perhaps I can only become a monk once they are dead. This was because his mom would often threaten to kill herself if he did become one. After they were gone, nobody really cared about his choice. Everybody got busy with their lives. At that point, it was like his whole world let out a deeply held breath. Ame was more free and more alone than ever before. He thinks of his calling not as a retreat from the world, but a special access to it in a way not many know exists. He has the time to appreciate bees making their hive, a wasp trying to find its way into a crevice in the wood, a donkey eating the grass. He has discovered a new love for the world, and its incredible wonders. He wants to experience all its beautiful stories closely. Since he himself is not engaged in any personal drama of his own, he is free to observe as the lives play out all around him and yes, that is what he spends most of his time doing – observing.

His parents were farmers. They grew radishes, potatoes and cabbage. And they would enjoy cooking delicious meals. Ame used to love eating these fresh vegetables in stews and soups and other forms. When he really misses his family, he goes to the market and buys some potatoes and cabbage. He cooks them the way his mother used to when she would say – ‘I will kill myself if you become a monk. Forget all about that and eat some more of your stew.’ And he would feel grateful for both lives, the one then and the one now.